My last post was in October, and I have a feeling that this may be because I switched to working overnights at work. Not really sure what that has to do with it since the internet doesn't close and is open all the time, but working 12 hour shifts overnight does throw your schedule way off for a long time.
Anyway, most of my posts to date have been pretty much not very personal, relating to my life, at all. I was just wondering why that is, and I remembered something that my pastor said to me a while back. He told me that it seemed as though I tend to get more joy out of serious things and things that have a lot of meaning. This being the opposite of things that have no real purpose or meaning to them, wastes of time. This would be in my definition, Folly (if you are familiar with Ecclesiastes). I listened to my pastor tell me this and it amazed me. I didn't think that I believed him. If you knew me when I was younger, you would have said the very opposite. I was obnoxious I am pretty sure, to the point where I couldn't take anything seriously. Also, if I couldn't disrupt class or disrupt anything that had some kind of meaning, then I wouldn't go or I would fall asleep (I slept through most of high school, and skipped most of college). Those who know me, will know what I am talking about.
So it surprised me that someone could read into me that I prefer to take things seriously and have purpose in what I do. Then I thought more about the things that i blew off or slept through, or disrupted with foolery...... has anyone else ever thought that the things we do in this society, in school especially, is absolute folly. Also, and more important to my points...... has anyone ever thought that the way we are shepherded in church is also absolute folly. Meaningless, meaningless......
This would explain why I am a person that enjoys taking thing seriously, and having purpose, and real meaning in what I do, yet couldn't stay awake in class, skipped class, or was obnoxiously interruptive and hyper for most of my life especially in church. These things that I seemed to be ignoring or trying to sabotage when I was younger were supposed to be the most serious things that a young person goes through, and they, church and school, are supposed to be your preparation for life. I guess I look back now and see the folly in all of it, and the reason why I did not enjoy these things like I should have, even when I was highly involved in church, or highly involved in school.
This is not to say that I did not enjoy my childhood, in fact I loved it. This is because I have a great family, parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, and great friends. But, if you take a look at your church, or back at your high school...... was it really worth the time you spent at either of those places. In college I could throw away the first 3 years if it came down to it and still be just as ready to keep taking graduate classes. (This would also have saved me $36,000 in loans.) If you took a look at my attendance in college it dramatically increased senior year when I was taking 300 and 400 level courses that pertained to what I was interested in, and that actually taught me something.
Now I know it could be the other way around, or the reason why's and the what about's could run a muck through my argument here, but I just find it interesting that all these connections can be made with the same premise of what my pastor observed about me. I think that it makes sense.
Moving forward though. What about your life, or my life now is Folly??? Now I am working, spending most of my time in life working, with the only purpose of paying bills and paying off our $100,000 in student loans, which for the most part I now think of paying for meaningless classes........ I believe this is folly. But, what do I do about it??
A little side conversation here, however it is connected. I was at a meeting with a bunch of guys most of which did not know me too well, and were older than I was, and probably felt like what they were doing in life was very important to the Call of God...... if that were the case then I think I hurt their feelings. We were discussing "Christian" things and I commented by basically saying that I always feel like we as Christians always feel satisfied with the work we do for Christ, like going to church once or twice a week, singing in the choir, playing in the church band, volunteering for 2 hours at the ministry, or chaperoning at the youth group. This isn't nearly, from an outside perspective, a full on commitment to the work of God. What about the other 150 hours in the week? I asked them about what Jesus said about selling all of your possessions and following, dropping all that you have or want to serve him. Then I asked them if we are truly doing the work of the Lord by being at work and putting most of our energy into our jobs..... while of course trying to be good examples of Christ (sensing the sarcasm). Is that truly what Jesus meant by what he said....... I told them that I don't think so, and that a full commitment to God takes the energy wasted on the meaninglessness of our jobs, and concentrates it on the real work of the Lord which is not in Church, but it is in the world. Serving the community, feeding the starving, helping the poor, and widowed, serving the lost, it is being Gods graceful, and merciful hand to the world. It is not working the 9-5..... or in my case the 7pm-9am .... while being a good person and hinting at being a Christian once in a while to see what "seeds I can plant".
Again I ask what in my life is Folly?? What should I be changing to be fully committed to the seriousness that God has called us all to? I think I have been so unsatisfied with certain parts throughout my life because I know how much of it truly means nothing in the work of the Lord. Ecclesiastes does not lie when it says that everything is meaningless, everything under the sun is meaningless........ now what do I do to find the meaning that is not under the sun? I have contemplated this, but how do I do this...... it seems impossible, we are all trapped in the meaningless from the time we start going to Sunday school in church, to the time we get our first locker at school, to the time we graduate from College, to the time we slave away at our jobs, to the time we retire and die.
Now after personally reading this, I feel like you will get the impression that I am deeply depressed or going mad or very very unhappy with my life. This is not the case. I am doing just fine..... I have a great wife, I still have my great family, parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, and friends. I am not serious all the time, and I still like to go to rock shows and have a great time. I have just found that in the process of examining one's life, how can we not conclude that most of it is a waste of our time, and according to God's word...... he has things for us to do that could quite possibly replace all of that wasted time. Wouldn't you like to have a life that was spent with meaning, and purpose, and did not mess with too much folly and meaninglessness? Maybe I am weird in thinking that I prefer purpose and meaning over the lack of......
I guess that the only answer to give me is that................ That's just life!!!.
Or maybe you think I don't like our society, our school system, our churches, our places of work................. that is just not the case, or is it? What do you think God thinks about these things and the "progress" we're making......
Anyway, most of my posts to date have been pretty much not very personal, relating to my life, at all. I was just wondering why that is, and I remembered something that my pastor said to me a while back. He told me that it seemed as though I tend to get more joy out of serious things and things that have a lot of meaning. This being the opposite of things that have no real purpose or meaning to them, wastes of time. This would be in my definition, Folly (if you are familiar with Ecclesiastes). I listened to my pastor tell me this and it amazed me. I didn't think that I believed him. If you knew me when I was younger, you would have said the very opposite. I was obnoxious I am pretty sure, to the point where I couldn't take anything seriously. Also, if I couldn't disrupt class or disrupt anything that had some kind of meaning, then I wouldn't go or I would fall asleep (I slept through most of high school, and skipped most of college). Those who know me, will know what I am talking about.
So it surprised me that someone could read into me that I prefer to take things seriously and have purpose in what I do. Then I thought more about the things that i blew off or slept through, or disrupted with foolery...... has anyone else ever thought that the things we do in this society, in school especially, is absolute folly. Also, and more important to my points...... has anyone ever thought that the way we are shepherded in church is also absolute folly. Meaningless, meaningless......
This would explain why I am a person that enjoys taking thing seriously, and having purpose, and real meaning in what I do, yet couldn't stay awake in class, skipped class, or was obnoxiously interruptive and hyper for most of my life especially in church. These things that I seemed to be ignoring or trying to sabotage when I was younger were supposed to be the most serious things that a young person goes through, and they, church and school, are supposed to be your preparation for life. I guess I look back now and see the folly in all of it, and the reason why I did not enjoy these things like I should have, even when I was highly involved in church, or highly involved in school.
This is not to say that I did not enjoy my childhood, in fact I loved it. This is because I have a great family, parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, and great friends. But, if you take a look at your church, or back at your high school...... was it really worth the time you spent at either of those places. In college I could throw away the first 3 years if it came down to it and still be just as ready to keep taking graduate classes. (This would also have saved me $36,000 in loans.) If you took a look at my attendance in college it dramatically increased senior year when I was taking 300 and 400 level courses that pertained to what I was interested in, and that actually taught me something.
Now I know it could be the other way around, or the reason why's and the what about's could run a muck through my argument here, but I just find it interesting that all these connections can be made with the same premise of what my pastor observed about me. I think that it makes sense.
Moving forward though. What about your life, or my life now is Folly??? Now I am working, spending most of my time in life working, with the only purpose of paying bills and paying off our $100,000 in student loans, which for the most part I now think of paying for meaningless classes........ I believe this is folly. But, what do I do about it??
A little side conversation here, however it is connected. I was at a meeting with a bunch of guys most of which did not know me too well, and were older than I was, and probably felt like what they were doing in life was very important to the Call of God...... if that were the case then I think I hurt their feelings. We were discussing "Christian" things and I commented by basically saying that I always feel like we as Christians always feel satisfied with the work we do for Christ, like going to church once or twice a week, singing in the choir, playing in the church band, volunteering for 2 hours at the ministry, or chaperoning at the youth group. This isn't nearly, from an outside perspective, a full on commitment to the work of God. What about the other 150 hours in the week? I asked them about what Jesus said about selling all of your possessions and following, dropping all that you have or want to serve him. Then I asked them if we are truly doing the work of the Lord by being at work and putting most of our energy into our jobs..... while of course trying to be good examples of Christ (sensing the sarcasm). Is that truly what Jesus meant by what he said....... I told them that I don't think so, and that a full commitment to God takes the energy wasted on the meaninglessness of our jobs, and concentrates it on the real work of the Lord which is not in Church, but it is in the world. Serving the community, feeding the starving, helping the poor, and widowed, serving the lost, it is being Gods graceful, and merciful hand to the world. It is not working the 9-5..... or in my case the 7pm-9am .... while being a good person and hinting at being a Christian once in a while to see what "seeds I can plant".
Again I ask what in my life is Folly?? What should I be changing to be fully committed to the seriousness that God has called us all to? I think I have been so unsatisfied with certain parts throughout my life because I know how much of it truly means nothing in the work of the Lord. Ecclesiastes does not lie when it says that everything is meaningless, everything under the sun is meaningless........ now what do I do to find the meaning that is not under the sun? I have contemplated this, but how do I do this...... it seems impossible, we are all trapped in the meaningless from the time we start going to Sunday school in church, to the time we get our first locker at school, to the time we graduate from College, to the time we slave away at our jobs, to the time we retire and die.
Now after personally reading this, I feel like you will get the impression that I am deeply depressed or going mad or very very unhappy with my life. This is not the case. I am doing just fine..... I have a great wife, I still have my great family, parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, and friends. I am not serious all the time, and I still like to go to rock shows and have a great time. I have just found that in the process of examining one's life, how can we not conclude that most of it is a waste of our time, and according to God's word...... he has things for us to do that could quite possibly replace all of that wasted time. Wouldn't you like to have a life that was spent with meaning, and purpose, and did not mess with too much folly and meaninglessness? Maybe I am weird in thinking that I prefer purpose and meaning over the lack of......
I guess that the only answer to give me is that................ That's just life!!!.
Or maybe you think I don't like our society, our school system, our churches, our places of work................. that is just not the case, or is it? What do you think God thinks about these things and the "progress" we're making......
I have never posted on your blog before but this is such a timely blog...Steve we all go through times in our lives that we think are meaningless. Sometimes it feels for most of our lives, until that one person that God has placed in front of you walks into it. Then the reason for our lives are perfectly clear. Your statement about helping others, feeding the world, getting out into the community is absolutely true. But while we are preparing to do this (or getting trained up in the Lord)we must gather experiences that may be relevant to what that person who walks into our lives need.
ReplyDeleteAs you know I have been at the same "dead end" job for 17 years. But in this job I have been able to feed the poor, give to the needy and help people that society might otherwise turn their back on. Even though you are making decent money...there is a calling on your life and you know what it is. It was until I was 30 before I got the job that was the calling on my life. But believe me...the past was not folly...my life experiences have helped to relate to the people I am with everyday. Yours will be the same. Should we put more time helping the poor the widowed and the lost...yes and it seems God may be ready to add that next chapter to my life. When He does...believe it or not I'll need your help. For everything there is a season.The past is the past and you have so much future...enjoy what God places in front of you. I love you! Mom (P.S. i didn't know how to post it any other way to it had to be anonymous...hahahaha! So someone teach me, please.)
Thanks for sharing this, Steve. I appreciate your honesty and courage to address this subject, which is often overlooked for the sake of comfort.
ReplyDeleteLori
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
ReplyDeleteWinston Churchill